My Binge Eating Story

Alen Standish of QuitBingeEating.comLike everyone else I have struggled with my own personal problems and issues. That’s part of being human, right? But one major problem I had took almost 15 years to resolve — conquering my Night Eating Syndrome, a form of Binge Eating Disorder. My name is Alen Standish and this is my story.

 

How It All Began

As a kid I constantly struggled with my weight. I always thought of food as a comforting friend, especially when I was stressed. I was a perfectionist and when things weren’t perfect I became anxious and would constantly snack and eat large portions at mealtimes to make myself feel full and content. I obviously didn’t have good eating habits.

I remember my first out of control eating binges beginning right after college when I moved my family across the country and started working full time in a stressful career field. I would force myself to eat well throughout the day and I exercised routinely but late at night before bed I could not stop myself from eating — a lot.

I’m not talking about just getting a late snack after dinner. No, my late night eating routine would start as soon as everyone else in the house fell asleep. I would crawl out of bed and sneak into the kitchen and then gorge until I almost made myself sick. Leftovers, bags of treats and lots and lots of peanut butter straight from the jar. I craved and would eat anything that was high in carbs and fats. I would then stumble back to bed, disgusted at myself for not being able to stop putting food into my mouth. I would easily exceed 3,000 to 5,000 calories a binge. Sometimes far more. I felt out of control in so many different ways. I knew I had a problem but didn’t know how to stop myself.

 

The Pain of Binge Eating

Binge eating hurt me physically and mentally. I struggled with my weight and progressively became heavier and sicker as the years went by. I increased my physical workouts each morning to try to make up for the night before. I also began extreme dieting and really restricting what I ate during the day. Unfortunately these only made my binge eating episodes worse. High blood pressure, cholesterol problems, chronic heartburn, oh yeah, I got all those along the way as well. Mentally I felt embarrassed and depressed. I did not want to talk to anyone else about my problem. Not even with my wife. I’m pretty sure she’d tell you that I’m a typical man.

 

The Search for Answers

(CC Alex Proimos) "Book_Shelves_and_Computers"I secretly read all the books and scoured the Internet for information. It did not take me long to figure out that I had a Binge Eating Disorder. I continued my search, trying to figure out how to stop binge eating.

On one extreme I only found shallow tips and tricks and on the other I found “experts” pushing intense treatment plans, surgeries, drugs, group counseling, and expensive therapy. To make matters worse most of these books and treatments seemed primarily aimed at women and talked a lot about women’s thoughts and relationship problems with men. Being your typical guy I just could not relate and felt weird thinking I had a disorder that only women seemed to have. I also knew I didn’t want to pour my heart out to a therapist or share my feelings face-to-face in group sessions. Doing so would feel even more embarrassing and I certainly didn’t want my friends finding out.

 

Starting Down the Right Path

My binge eating and continual search for a solution went on for almost two decades until one day I saw a news story on the benefits of meditation and mindfulness. What the heck, I decided to give it a shot. I was under all sorts of new stresses at my job and desperately needed to manage how I was coping. Besides, learning meditation would be cheap (cost of a few instructional books) and was a very private activity (no groups or doctors!). I read up on several meditation techniques and began practicing them each morning while sitting in my favorite chair before anyone else in the house woke up.(CC Chris Betcher) "Sunrise through the clouds"

Meditation taught me to be mindful, to better live in the moment and to create happiness from within myself. It helped to relieve almost all my daily stresses after just a few weeks of practice. Never in my life up until then had I experienced such clarity and felt such a deep calm. But as great as it was it did not fully stop my binge eating. It just took the edge off it a bit and reduced my binging frequency.

 

Pulling it All Together

A few months later, by sheer serendipity, I read a random comment someone had posted on a blog mentioning how they used the Addictive Voice Recognition Technique® (AVRT) to finally break their binge eating habit. I researched AVRT and quickly appreciated its “take responsibility for yourself” approach while being mindful of what you are feeling inside. The premise is our brains are made up of the ancient survival brain (flight or fight) and human brain (modern consciousness) with the survival brain never wanting to feel hunger or pain, only pleasure, with no understanding of consequences.

[Click here for my review of Brain Over Binge; it’s how I learned about AVRT]

The survival brain is very powerful and will always try to convince the human brain to give in. AVRT helps to see this struggle for what it is and gives our human brain the weapons it needs to fight back and ignore the urges coming from the survival brain. In my case my survival brain was convincing my human brain to binge eat because my survival brain only wanted to feel good and not empty or hungry. That’s typical of an addiction like Binge Eating Disorder.

(CC jayneandd) "Finish line"

Using the observation skills I learned from meditation while applying the AVRT along with the many other tips and techniques I had picked up over the years I was finally able to cure myself of my Binge Eating Disorder. It only took about a month for it all to finally come together. Success! Freedom! Control!

 

You Can Beat It Also

I shared my story so others can see the power this disorder can have over a person. I also shared it to show people who also have this problem that they can overcome it also.

For the guys reading this, Binge Eating Disorder affects men just as much as it does women. Men just don’t talk about it as much. However it’s just as real and dangerous a disorder for us also. Maybe more so…

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. Please share your opinion, your own experiences and what you think in the comments section below.

41 thoughts on “My Binge Eating Story

    • Hi Alen!
      I am 18-year-old student and I have been binge-eating half a year now. Still i am not obese, not yet.
      My BED has more to do with bulimic, but since I do not purge I define myself as a binge eater.
      I have not survived yet, but I will.
      It is important to eat 4 times a day, not trying to have any diet.
      And I have told about this to a friend of mine..and that helped a bit.
      The most difficult thing is to try to forget yesterday, forgive yourself and begin again.
      I have to get rid of this, my stomach can not stand this anymore

    • Hi Alen.
      I am a 19 year old student who’s suffering from binge eating.
      I’ve been binge eating for almost 3 months.
      I gained about 20kilos in a month.
      People tend to stare a lot and made fat jokes.
      This affects me a lot and my self-esteem is completely ruined.
      The worst thing is, it made me binge eat even more because I get very upset.
      But your site helped a lot and made me feel that I’m not alone.
      Thank you so much !

        • So are you saying meditation is a key component of what helped you stop the binges? How often and for how long do you meditate?

          • Great question! Meditation is one tool (out of many) I used to help control my binge eating. I use it to help me become mindful of what’s going on around and within myself. This allows me to see my emotions easier when they occur and just observe them vs letting them control me. It also helps with so many other challenges I’ve had such as rushing to judgement about myself and my actions. Basically the mindfulness I get from meditating gives me the tools to quickly bring myself into the moment anytime during the day. Helps tremendously when dealing with the emotions and urges that drive one to want to binge.

            I do a daily 15-20 minute super simple breathing mediation practice each morning as soon as I wake up. It’s the best part of my day and sets the tone going forward. Good luck!!!

          • Thanks! I also want to thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for introducing me to Brain Over Binge and AVRT. I read her book in 1.5 days. It really makes sense to me and I have found new hope whereas I felt just about hopeless just a few days ago. I’ve been dealing with various eating disorders for 25 years now and I was very skeptical about this book but I figured I had nothing to lose. I’m so glad I read it! I believe this approach will finally help me be successful in stopping the binge/restriction/overexercising (repeat, repeat) hellish cycle I’ve been stuck in for years. I cannot thank you enough!

    • Hi, I’m 20, and I have binge eating dissorder.
      It started about 3 years ago, though I realized what it was, about 8 months ago, and stopped it somehow. I thought it was over, till the episodes started again, worse than ever.
      My close friend died in november. Due to stress, I have lost a lot of weight back then. When the shock wore off, bingeing started. For the last two months, I have been bingeing every other day. I have been using enzymes, they have been helping with cramps, and stomach pain.
      I have decieded about 30 times that I wont binge ever again, but I always do.
      I have gained weight, and I feel awfull, sick, angry, fat.. I am so upset with myself, and in need of help.
      I saw that hormonal dissorder causes binges, is that possible? I lost my period last summer, due to PCOS. I really feel like it’s more of physical, than emotional problem.

      • I’m so sorry for your loss and the struggles you’re going through.
        Big picture, recovery is very much an up and down process. Often we backslide even after a long period of good times. Stress, physical changes, our nourishment and yes, even hormone imbalances can be triggers. Often it’s a combo of all the above with each one building on the other. Only a medical doctor can tell you if your hormones are not within typical ranges. If you suspect that you really should talk with your doctor about that concern and also share with her or him your eating struggles as well so they have a complete picture of what you’re strugglign with.
        It also sounds like you’re carrying a lot of stress, especially with your loss. Make sure you’re taking care of your emotional needs and are talking with a close friend, family member or a friendly therapist. The loss of anyone close in our life can really affect us both emotionally and physically. When it happens early in our recovery it can easily trigger us and start the behaviors all over again — and make it feel 10 times harder to manage them again.
        Wishing you all my best. Good luck! — Alen

    • Hi… I also came across AVRT and it was a life saver. I’m one month in. I’ve struggled a bit this month. My questions is… you said “It took about a month for everything to come together…” what happened in that month? Did you binge at all? Did you struggle at all during that month? Etc.

      • Hi Jessica,
        I had almost a year of meditation practice leading into it and that helped me tremendously. The AVRT was the final key for me. After a month my binges were very infrequent — maybe once a month. And then they gradually stopped after about 4 more months or so. I still overeat occasionally but it’s no longer the out of control mindless binges like I had before. Now I know when I’m doing it and consciously indulge occasionally. Everyone is completely different and relapses are common at first so just be patient with yourself.
        Best of luck!!! — Alen

    • My letter to my husband:

      Victim or Viking
      Dear XXXXXXXXX,
      You know I have always wanted to be the Viking, because my idea of a victim is “weakness”. Well I’m here to tell you, I’m not perfect. I don’t know why I try so desperately to pretend that my life is anything less than charmed. Maybe it’s because I feel guilty. The truth is, for the last 15 years or so, I’ve managed to hide a really ugly secret. Not really—I’m not the brightest bulb in the box, I’ve been known to leave behind empty packages and cookie crumbs in my path of destruction. I honestly don’t remember my first binge. I’m sure it must’ve been when I lived at home with all of the craziness going on there. All of my mothers negative comments like “you will never be good enough”. You will never be pretty enough she would say. You will be just like me she said. God knows, that was my worst fear. Not really knowing what a “Binge Eating Disorder” was back then, I just went with it, whatever it was. Mother would give me money to go to the store so I could buy candy just to be quite. My Dad with an acute mental illness could not stand to be disturbed in any way. All I ever heard was “be quite” your Dad’s having a spell, whatever hell that meant. So, to put this into prospective, I would find comfort in eating candy and being quite. It became comforting to me to hide and eat candy, cakes or anything sweet I could find. I would even make noise to disturb Dad so that Mom would give me money for candy. Who’s crazy now?

      It’s really hard to explain a binge to someone who has never experienced one before. I call them “gremlins”. It just comes over me like an out of body experience. Once I’m in that frame of mind, I eat everything. I will stop at stores where no one knows me to buy 7 or 8 candy bars and go to a secluded location to eat them all, and throw away the papers in the trash before coming home. I become totally shameful and guilty. I’ve always thought maybe I should purge to get rid of what I just ate, but I was scared to try that fearing that might become a habit also. I become sick to even look at myself in the mirror knowing that I would be disgusted with my lack of self control. Back to the “Viking thing” sometimes I would cry only to tell myself “you are pathetic”—suck it up. Do you realize how many times I told myself—this is my last binge? I’m so tired to lying to myself. I can go from a size 8 to a size 20 in 30 days flat. I’m so tired of hating myself just for this one thing. I have so much to be thankful for, I tell myself. Why me, I ask myself. What have I ever done to deserve this?

      Now that I’ve told you about my eating disorder, I want to share what I’m trying to do about it. I’ve been seeing dietitian XXXXX XXXXX, for several years now, trying to work out a healthy eating plan. I started seeing a different Doctor about my Binge eating. As you know, her name is XXXXX XXXXX. Working together with XXXXX and Dr. XXXXX is a start to getting the help I need. They have both encouraged me to tell you my story so that you can be a part of my healing. I’m sorry that I’ve kept this from you for so many years, but I was afraid that you would judge me like so many do every day. Moving forward, my wish is to be healthy and happy. I just want to have a healthy relationship with food. Please help and support me in my journey.

      I love you!

      Rita

      • Rita, that was an amazing letter to your husband. Letting those close to us know can almost feel to be the hardest step. You did amazing. I wish you all the best as you work through this. Your story touched me deeply. You can do this!

  1. I just found your website and am very inspired. I have been battling binge eating for around a year now. I have read countless articles, read self-help books, and nothing seems to last. Those methods work for a week or two, but then I feel myself slipping and food seems to take over again. What’s frustrating is that I can recognize my trigger foods (peanut butter, cereal, guacamole, and chips) but every time one of those foods is presented to me, I think that I can handle them and that I won’t binge, but every time I end binging. I haven’t tried meditation and at this point I’m willing to try about anything to get myself to stop this horrid habit. Thank you for this great website.

    • Hey i really recommend nlp for the specific foods its good to tr;y and get these foods assosiated with a nigative emotion and image in your brain.
      I was always binging on rice cakes and this really stopped my binges completely.. it took some time ofcourse but it helped for sure:)

  2. I recently discovered your Podcast and have been catching up one episode per day,as to not to over immerse myself in the content.I am a 38 year old male from Newcastle,Australia and have been binge eating for over 15 years.What I found truly intriguing was that your story resonates so closely with mine.I would eat normally each day,but come late night when everyone was asleep I would scamper into the kitchen to feast and be left with the guilt of this action.I would offset this calorific binges with intense exercise that merely just delayed the inevitable, which was weight gain.I went from 95 kg in my early mid 20’s to ballooning out near 130 kg in my early 30’s.
    A couple of years ago I tried Weight Watchers and through their program and weekly weigh in, I brought my weight down to 94 kg over a 5 month period from 125 kg. At this point I felt fixed,the scales were under 100 kg and people were saying how great I looked.
    I guess the one great point of their program was that most of my trigger foods such as chocolates,take out,pasta,etc were off the menu.
    Due to a change in employment, that was both stressful and solitary, I allowed these food demons back into my life.My new job meant that I was away from home in the weekdays staying in a work house by myself, and after each day, an orgy of indulgence would occur,this was done with minimal exercise as the town I was staying at didn’t have any gym and with it being winter was too cold to ride my bike or go for a evening walk.
    About 1 year ago this job finished and I slipped back into my normal home-life. Coming home was quite bizarre, not only had my relationship broken down with my partner but I felt confused with how easily I had gone back into binge eating.My previous industry had taken a significant downturn and I had to change jobs that was a lot less money and this also caused further stress.
    I figured that my removal from the stressful environment,living near a gym and having my dog to walk each day would result in a weight loss, but this hasn’t been the case.yet.
    A few months ago I cut alcohol from my weekly routine,which hasn’t been an issue.I think that listening to me,and not too my urges will hopefully bring these binges to a halt.

    Listening to your Podcast has allowed me some relief that I am not alone.

    • Knut,

      Thank you for sharing and for all your kind words. You hit the nail right on the head on so many things, esp how easy it is to fall back into the binge trap. I think you’re taking things the right direction and you’re going to see the changes you want :-). Wishing you luck!!!

  3. Hi Alen

    I’ve been looking for a way out of binge eating since I first noticed the signs something wasn’t right around February 2011. I want to leave it behind and in the past have tried CBT therapy, drugs, self help books and hypnosis. None of which have worked.
    However since finding out about Brain Over Binge and now your website here I am full of confidence and excitement. Both you and Kathryn could be writings about me when you describe your struggles.
    Just wanted to say “hi” and thanks for being brave enough to help people like me.

  4. I have been binge eating for 6 months now. I am not over weight in fact I am losing weight because of working out. I binge one or twice a week.
    It has gotten worse in the past two months now that I have quit smoking.
    I binge on healthy food at night. My dinners are huge. I have even adjusted my days eating less so I can “pig out” at night.
    I eat until it hurts. Then most nights do yoga and try not to puke because I’m so full. I have puked once or twice a little while I try to work out after binge eating.
    I don’t know what this is about. I feel angry shoving food into my mouth. My body feels like she is getting a food hug as my mind is saying so what and disgusted.
    I am going to make overcoming this my priority. Slowing down to chew and find the spiritual side of food.
    Thank you for this blog I meditate daily but never thought to use it in this manner.

  5. Hi Alen, thank you for sharing your ED story! I have to first say that I am so happy to have found your podcast. Though I am not a true binge eater, I do have a background of anorexia which has led to the opposite end of the spectrum on the ED scale. The interviews you have on your show are an amazing resource, and keep me motivated. Thank you again :).

    As for me, I slowly became anorexic around Grade 11 in High School. My experience in school was not a positive one, and eventually my decreasing self confidence found me deep in the depths of restrictive eating. I, like many young women, thought that being thin would attract all the things I wanted in life at that time. Mainly, attention from boys. Sadly, I did experience all the attention I craved once I started slim down- but I didn’t stop. At one point I was as low as 90lbs, which is still shocking to me today. I am rather short, but 90 lbs doesn’t look healthy on ANY woman at the height of 5’4″. I was weak, I had no muscle mass, and was running daily to try to get rid of even more fat (what fat?!). The mindset of that disease is insane. I could focus on one miniscule part of my body and see some sort of ‘bulge’, and then restrict calories even MORE.

    Eventually, I regained a little weight, and went to college. Ahhh, college… We all know how this goes! And yep, I gained weight. During my last six months, I was sitting at a computer doing all nighters, snacking on granola bars and drinking coffee as if it was water I found while lost out in the desert. Since my metabolism was rather shot from such a constant low calorie diet, my weight shot up. I turned to food to cope. This is when I really started to realize that all eating disorders have a very similar base. One can turn to the next extremely easily. It was a frightening time in my life, and I began to really LISTEN to what I was telling myself in my head. For the first time in my adult life, I stopped turning to food (or restriction) instead of listening to my mind and body. I began to immerse myself in the passions I had lost along the way, and make new friends. Eventually, this led me to eating healthfully and exercising in order to take CARE and LOVE myself. I wasn’t doing it to lose weight, I was doing it because it made me feel amazing.

    Don’t get me wrong, those thoughts are still there. But I know that I need not succumb to them any longer. There are days I still overeat, indulge in chocolate too much, or feel a little “fat”. But I am in a much healthier place now, and your podcast is helping me stay there.

    My apologies for the long post, and take care!
    -Emma.

  6. Hi Alen, what an great website – I have only just discovered it and am looking forward to listening to the podcasts and reading more material. This is exactly what I need. I’ve had binge eating problems throughout my life, although I don’t think I realised that it might be an addiction-based psychological issue for me. I became clinically obese and developed pre-diabetes a few years ago but I suddenly got motivated and eventually managed to lose a huge amount of weight after I was diagnosed. I was slim, healthy and had lots of energy. I thought I had moved beyond bingeing forever.

    Over the past couple of years, however, I’ve slowly but surely slid back into my old addictive ways of thinking again. I’ve already put on another 10 kilos and it’s the same old horror again — always at night: endless compulsive and almost panic-stricken trips to the kitchen every few minutes to forage for food and then bingeing like I’m about to die of starvation. I go into some sort of trance when this happens – it’s like I’m a zombie desperate for brains!! Why do I get such a massive high from being ‘naughty’ and stuffing myself with salty/fatty/sugary junk after 10pm?

    I think it will be useful for me to read up about what on earth might be happening in my brain when this ‘dark side’ takes over (that’s what it feels like!) and any of my logical /sensible thoughts are muffled.

    I’d really like to thank you for sharing your experience here and providing such an important information hub for us all.

  7. What a great website you have created Alen; well done! thank you for compiling and sharing so much information with us all.

    I feel inspired to put one foot in front of the other today, to pick myself up and be mindful to eat food that contributes to my vitality.

  8. thanks so.much for sharing. J have been battling this awful disease for four years now and kept thinking there was no relief. I literally miss uni and work to go to the gym and then binge eat at night. My body is constantly aching from workouts.and I have no social life because binging and exercising takes up all my time. I am so excited to try meditation. Is there any resources you recommend to get started? I am naturally an early morning riser so would love to start everyday this way. Any books or websites you recommend? Thanks!!

    • Zara, I know it sounds a little odd but the “Meditation For Dummies” book is a great tool! Give that a try. It’s something I used when I first got started. Good luck to you!!!

  9. Hello!

    Awesome post!
    After months of research I can’t believe I’ve only found your website today.

    I am a binge eater. I’ve been a BE for 5 years now (I stopped it for 2 years during this time, but it came back 11 months ago).
    It started at University when I became an almost anorexic (I was one step from been officially). But then I did a serotonin treatment. And all went well. But I became overweight! A year ago I started to change my lifestyle. Good food and exercise. Healthier not skinny. Muscles over bones! Weighlifting became important. Also being insulin sensitive implies a healthier diet. But the fact that I cut out of type diet some foods brought BE back! And it’s getting worse!
    I will try your Defence Wall approach. It’s diferent from everything I came across so far.
    Hoping that it can help me manage my binges.
    So far I’ve been able to contain them only in the weekend (I am always weaker mentally on weekends), and sometimes they happen one day during weekdays. Let see if I can make them less frequent, and eventually get over with it!

    Thanks Alen for your website!
    Cheers mate

    • I use Allen’s power of defense stradeg & it has worked for me. I lost the impossible 5 lbs. and have kept it off, if I start to go back to the old habits I rework the stragedy with no problem. It’s amazing how easy this is once you practice. Good Luck.

  10. Hi Alen,

    Thank you for your podcast, I found it a few of days ago and I am listening to a couple of episodes per day, roughly in order. Through the podcast I discovered the book Brain over Binge and I read it before sleep yesterday.

    Your podcast and your story has been very inspiring to me, especially because I have a similar background (work as software developer, 40 y.o., married and father of a baby boy)

    I am not sure whether I totally fit the profile of a binge eater, even though I have binged a lot in the past. I would say I’m a compulsive overeater.. Basically I eat more than I know I should and need on pretty much every meal, and think about food, weight and body image more than anything else… And that has been the case for the last 25 years at least.

    I believe (hope?) that AVRT and other techniques you’ve mentioned will benefit an overeater as well! I consider myself a rational, existentialist, secular person and I see some common values there.

    I really want to get over these compulsive thoughts and start enjoying the moment and being mindful with my beautiful boy, as well as fit, since he is a very strong and active boy already.

    Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for the inspiration and encouragement I’ve found on your podcast. Cheers from Brazil.

  11. Hey Alen. Thanks so much for your posts! I’m 20 and I’ve been struggling with food and binge eating for a few years now. I was wondering, could you go into more detail about your meditation? I know you mentioned in a comment that you do it for 15-20 minutes each morning, but how do you actually do it? Like do you close your eyes and take deep breaths and try to only focus on and think about your breathing, or what? At this point, I feel like I’d try anything, so I’d love to know more so I can try this.

    Thanks! I appreciate all you do!

    • Hi Gina, thanks for the kind words! I experimented with a lot of different meditations and I used (and still use) different ones almost on an every other day basis. My go do mindfulness meditation is simply my own practice of fully calming and relaxing my body by first focusing on my breath for about 5 mins. In and out, nothing else. Letting all my thoughts go and just focusing on the breath. Then after 5 mins I then do a simple progressive relaxation technique where I focus on the top of my head and focus on my muscles, making them each relax in turn as I work down my body. I breath slowly but no longer focused on my breath. Then when done focusing and relaxing every muscle (takes about another 5 mins) I then go into my head for another 10 mins or so and watch. Nothing else. Just watch. No music, no nothing. I just watch the thoughts. It’s an amazing experience.

      On my other days I tend to be more playful with my meditations. I like to visualize and imagine and that really changes things up and makes me want to do the meditation and not ever feel bored with them. I could probably talk for hours about all these different types of meditations but I’d recommend the book “The Dummies Guide to Meditation.” It’s a great start and helps you learn some different techniques. I then built on the ones I really liked and have created my own calming inner world and techniques I can escape to whenever I need a few moments in the day. It’s so simple but also so powerful. I wish I could help more with describing it but honestly it’s so simple. Sometimes the hardest thing is facing your thoughts and being alone in your head with yourself. That was the huge breakthrough for me — knowing I was OK to be me and to sit with myself vs numbing our with mobile games, TV or of course food. It takes a little time and you still have to work on the habits you’ve built but meditation and mindfulness make that MUCH MUCH MUCH easier!

      Wishing you my best!!!

  12. Hey Alen. Thank you so much for positing this. I struggled with binge eating for years, and finally, through a lot of CBT and intuitive eating training, I was able to overcome it.

    However, I developed a different issue, which is the night eating. I dont have any urges during the day, but I wake up 1-3 times per night and eat. It often isnt a lot (few hundred calories) but it is still so frustrating.

    Did you deal with a similar issue? It feels like a blood sugar issue to me. If I dont eat, I have a painful time trying to get back to bed. Did you change your eating during the day to make the issue better? Thanks!

    • Hi Ella – it’s something I struggled with as well. For me I simply learned to recognize the urge/sensation at night and would take my mind elsewhere while I laid in bed. Lots of visualizations, taking myself elsewhere in my mind and that would allow me to fall back to sleep. It’s just learning how to stop yourself from getting up and telling yourself it’s literally a habit that wants to take over. I remember many times telling myself “you don’t want to get up. Go somewhere that you want to go” and I’d start the visualizing and within minutes would be fast asleep again. Wishing you my best! – Alen

      • Thank you for this! I think focusing on not getting out of bed seems like a great idea. What concerns me though, is when I try different methods to stop the eating- and then when I give in- that eating is often worse. How do I simultaneously allow food but also turn away from it. I don’t want to feel restricted but I also want it to feel like a non-option. Let me know your thoughts…

        • My favorite method was/is saying to myself when I’m in bed is: “You can have it in the morning if you want but not right now. I promise. Eat it all in the morning if you want but not right now.”

          I never feel restricted with that thinking and I fall back to sleep. It’s no longer “forbidden” in my mind that way and doesn’t have the control. Of course in the morning I don’t want it and I’m good.

          My best!

  13. Hi Alen!
    i am 26 and binge eating for around 5-6 years. Great what you’ve done and thx for sharing your success story it encourages a lot to get better myself. Since one year i am working on myself to get rid of it. But unfortanetly i relapsed . It is getting better i find a lot of stuff that helps me. For example Yoga really helps me to accept myself and calm down. But i guess it takes more time for me to recover. It is very hard and you can be very proud of what you achievet. Hopefully me too very soon.
    thx for sharing!

  14. Hi Alan,

    Like you I’ve scowered the internet, looking for answers, looking for something to release me from the trap of my mind. I’ve never found anything that sticks for me, especially because I still do want to lose weight. So restricting, while I can limit myself for a while, I always lose control. Not being able to do things on my own makes me more angry at myself, and it gets worse. It’s a cycle. I have good days, I have bad days, I have bad periods where in a year I would lose 30 pounds (I am small, so this is 15% of my body weight), and gain it right back, because I lost control. I’m tired of beating myself for even eating a piece of bread I wasn’t supposed to have, and then the next day eating a similar amount of calories as you. I just feel alone and hopeless. I feel like I will never find happiness and contentness with myself. I’m 20 years old and I don’t remember a time where I was in control of myself. That being said, hearing a story like yours is inspiring to me. Thank you for sharing, and I hope you still are at peace with yourself. Every little success I know of gives me a little more hope for my personal struggle.

Leave a Comment